Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

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Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Erui » Tue Mar 24, 2015 4:32 pm

Years and at least one guild ago, I started writing an advice column for the priest section of our guild forums when I noticed that nobody else was posting there. What others saw as a depressing and empty place, I saw as blank slate of opportunity. If nobody else would have their say, then I would have mine.
If nobody objects (and such can be expressed by deleting this thread) then I may revive it here.

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Dear Aunt Erui,

I recently graduated from the long, arduous process of leveling to full priesthood, and as a final test of my faith, the senior priest gave me a list of so-called “level 100” talents to choose from. She was adamant that I may only choose one.

I wish to pursue the path of good and righteousness, spreading the blessed word of [deity redacted] and healing the broken. With names like “Clarity of Purpose”, “Words of Mending” and “Saving Grace”, they all seem to fit with the motif I am trying to construct.

Which one would you recommend for a starting priest?

Signed, N00b

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Dear N00b,

Given the lack of “Clarity of Will” in your list of selections, I am going to work under the assumption that you have already ignored the good advice of the temple elders and chosen the path of holiness over that of discipline. This tells me that you are probably going to ignore anything I say here and choose something at random, but I will do my best to provide you with the answers you seek.

Fun Fact: did you know that every time a priest of the light chooses holiness over discipline, a raid leader gnaws off his or her own leg? It’s true.

There is little practical difference between these three selections, and the ultimate decision depends on your personal choices, and whether or not you want the train wreck of bad decisions that led you to choosing Holy lead you deeper down the rabbit hole. Any of these three will cost you a measurable loss in dignity as you hold your nose and select from the fetid lot of them, so you may as well go with the one that has the prettiest effects; WoM. Think of it as a punch in the kidney, when your other options are a poke in the eye, or a jackboot in the tender bits.

Pro Tip: If you glyph into Deep Wells, it gives you more free time to pick your nose and flick it at the Affliction Warlocks (because they need more indignities heaped on them after the neft they ate this expansion).

Now get out there and heal!

Signed, Erui
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Re: Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Stone » Tue Mar 24, 2015 7:17 pm

I would love to see more of these :)
Stone obsessed: Headstone, Flintstone, Hailstones, Pebblestone, Grindstone, Yellowstone, Cornerstone, Felstone, Veinstone, Milestone, Stepstone, Pairofstones, Stonegrasp (the original), Moonstone, Tinystones, Kidneystones, Cobblestone, Dreadstone, Rhinestones, Gallstone, Flagstone, Whetstone, Blarneystone, Stoneage, Footstone, Sharonstone, Rollingstone, Capstone, Birthstone, Oliverstone, Tombstone, Amazonstone, Stonewaller, Mifepristone, Stonewashed, Rottenstone, Whinstone, Turnstone, Pipestone, Marlstone, Curbstone, Topstone, Flowstone, Sarastone, Stoneangel, Cherrystone, Dripstone, Greenstone, Nonhistone, Siltstone, Toadstone, Tinstone

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Re: Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Erui » Wed Mar 25, 2015 4:30 pm

Usually I post these sporadically, as inspiration strikes. So you might get a few a week, or 1-2 in a month.

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Dear Aunt Erui,

A couple of weeks ago, I was running a heroic dungeon with the guild when I noticed that our warrior tank was kind of squishy. Since he is usually a shaman, I wondered if he had forgotten to equip his new Codpiece of The Monkey when he changed to his warrior, and I inspected him between pulls.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that he was tanking in Arms spec. Naturally I was so taken aback that when we finally got to the boss, I did a /dance on pull and let him die. As we were running back, he asked me why I had just stood there dancing instead of healing him, and I said that if he was not going to take his role seriously, then neither was I. He has been whining to the guild ever since about how I am such a terrible healer.

Which brings me to my question; is Multistrike really all that, or should they have let me out-roll the fire mage for that Crit/Mastery gear?

Signed, Dances With Arms.

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Dear Dances,

On reading your post, it occurs to me that you may be trying to overachieve while neglecting the important niche role of “good enough”. One must always consider the overall needs of the raid when mulling over their gear and stat priority.

Math Time: There is a finite cap on the benefit of healing in a group or raid, which is the sum of the maximum health of all its members.

What I am saying here is that if you spend too much gold and time trying to maximize your performance, you run the risk of putting out more healing than the raid actually needs. The healthiest you can bring a person to is a state of “hale and hearty”. Other than a pre-emptive shield, any healing you administer beyond that point is a waste of time and resources.

It is actually contrary to your best interests to over-gear your minimum requirements. You don’t want the raid at full health all the time anyway; ideally a raider’s health should be kept at a point where they are immediately cognizant of their own mortality, but not at imminent risk of dying. I find that it motivates them to dig a bit deeper and kill the boss a little faster. You need to keep that sense of urgency alive by keeping your fellow raiders barely alive.

So the short answer is that you should gear based on appearance and comfort. You want practical gear that looks awesome, but breathes properly in a hot dungeon. As for which stat is priority, well, if it is cloth and it has stats then it is potentially healing gear. Remember also that green gems fit into sockets just as readily as epic ones do, and any enchant is better than no enchant.

Finally, you totally should have got that piece over a (snerk!) fire mage. Seriously, people still spec into that?

Now get out there and heal!

Sincerely, Erui.
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Re: Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Erui » Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:46 pm

Dear Aunt Erui,
I was recently chatting with our shaman healer, and we could not agree on if or how Sanctuary and Healing Rain should interact. Should one grant the recipients sanctuary against the rain, or should the two spells combine to form a green circle of Sanctirain that heals for almost as much as half a Wild Mushroom?

PS – druids are totally OP.

Signed, She Sells Sanctuary

Dear SSS,

Please tell me that you are not wasting your raid marker spell in the mistaken belief that it actually delivers measurable healing. Holy Word: Do Nothing (as we dubbed it back at the temple) serves primarily as a marker to let the DPS know where not to stand during a raid. It functions on the same principal as Lightwell, which was discovered to project such a powerful click-aversion response in DPS that it was often planted in front of buttons, teleports or other things that one did not want their fellow raiders to accidentally select.

Unfortunately, since its recent automation, Lightwell no longer works in this role. Raiders have slowly keyed to the fact that they can no longer accidentally click on it, and they are even reluctantly willing to get within five yards of it – though they still accept its healing with an enthusiasm usually reserved for a barium enema.

The sickly golden glow and nauseating sparkles of HW: S serve as an interdiction barrier between the raiders and a spot where bad things will happen if they stand there. It works not so much as a warning, but as a circle of such depressing underachievement that raiders fear standing too close to its wan, pathetic emanations might actually sap away some of their DPS. They might actually be right.

Even if it does not suck away their potency, the sputtering circle of fail lies there flaccidly like an indictment on all their own shortcomings. It reminds them of the inevitability of death, and how standing in this pool of futility will do nothing to postpone that fate. I recommend removing it from your cast bar unless your raid leader specifically asks you to mark avoidance zones.

Now get out there and heal!

Sincerely,
Erui
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Re: Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Erui » Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:01 pm

Dear Aunt Erui,
There seems to be divergent philosophies on this, so I decided to get your thoughts on it. Which is the better raiding talent, CoP or SA?

Signed,
Shadöw Dude

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Dear SD,

I am confused because you are mixing up terminologies here. On the one hand you mention raiding, but in the same breath you are asking me about shadow talents… oh. Pardon me while I make a perfunctory face-palm motion. I can't tell if you are trolling me, or asking for legitimate advice. I will treat this question as if you are serious.

In past expansions, Shadow Priests were brought to raids as a way to boost morale by ensuring that nobody else had to languish at the bottom of the DPS meters. At some point we even managed to convinced ourselves that the laughably small trickle of mana we provided to the group actually made a difference. In reality we were just the purple dork whose job was to cast Mind Flay so that the rest of the raid could see where the boss was standing at a glance, and to set the baseline "kick" threshold for others who were not carrying their weight.

"Yo, Raid Leader, kick the scrub who's below the shadow priest!"
"That's one of our healers...."
"Doesn't matter. That's totally unacceptable."

More recently, shadow priests have been buffed significantly so that a well-geared shadow priest who executes their rotation perfectly can produce numbers about on par with an average DPS class in gear from two tiers back. As such, it is possible for us to occasionally pass people on the meters if they die early in the fight, or AFK on the boss pull. We are now brought to raids out of pity, rather than as the object of a cautionary lesson to other raiders to eat their consumable and drink their flasks. Usually shadow priests who occupy raid positions either have dirt on, or are sleeping with the raid leaders.

From the extra, needless flourish in your name, I can deduce that you are a blood elf. One benefit of your race is the broad, sweeping gesticulations in the spells that you cast. Belf shadow priests may not do much damage, but they do it with style. I recommend that you spec into CoP, since it generally allows for more instant casts where you can wave your arms in the air like you don’t care. Maximize the pizzazz. Also, don't forget to transmogrify your gear for optimal flair.

If you are really asking me the best spec to genuinely help the raid then I recommend speccing into Hunter.

Now get out there and melt faces!

Sincerely,
Erui
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Re: Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Erui » Thu May 21, 2015 11:54 am

Dear Aunt Erui,

I am having a crisis of faith. I think. That is, I don't know what or who I am supposed to have faith in, so I am not really sure if I there is even something or someone in whom to lack this faith. All through seminary, they spoke of The Holy Light, but when any of us pressed them for details, they became elusive and vague. I guess I don't understand why we would put our faith in a nebulous concept when there are lots of gods out there who would probably love to have some worshipers.

It's not that this faith - such as it is - doesn't work, because for reasons that none of the high priests can clearly explain, this "Holy Light" gives us the power to heal or smite our friends and foes. Lately I have come to believe that our power comes from within, and that The Holy Light is just an external representation of that power that we have invented to give ourselves a focal point. If that's the case, then why are we even priests at all? We have no theology to speak of.

They gave me a holy symbol when I graduated, ostensibly to help me channel the power of The Light. I never noticed much difference whether I was wearing it or not, other than the fact that it left greenish stains on my chest and robes when I sweat. Eventually I started leaving it at the garrison when I'd go raiding, and I eventually replaced it with a lovely neck out of Black Rock Foundry.

My question to you is, in the seeming absence of a true higher power, where should I put my faith?

Sincerely

Bemused Belf

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Dear Belf,

If you have trouble putting your faith in the power of The Holy Light, you should try swinging the other way and see what it's like to be Forsaken.

Seriously. We're recruiting.

Our power comes from something called The Forgotten Shadow. "The what Shadow?" you ask. We don't know – we've forgotten.

Most of the holy symbols given out by modern temples are made from a cast copper-mercury-lead amalgam known more for its malleability and inexpensiveness than for its efficacy as a focusing agent. Although sweat is not an issue for the Forsaken, I typically advise new undead priests to dip the icon in boiled linseed oil, and to apply a liberal coating of the same to their chest to help remediate staining caused by excess moisture.

Though if you have seen what happens to the elbows and backs of our Forsaken attire, you'll realize that stains from cheap metal trinkets are the least of our fashion worries.

My advice to you is to forget The Holy Light and to put your faith in more tangible things. We forgot The Shadow and you can see how little it impacted us. Put your faith in the things that matter; your tank, the other healers, and the DPS. Trust that they will do their jobs and not stand in puddles of green monster poop.

Have faith that your leader knows the fight, and doesn’t position you in front of the cone attacks because he mistakenly believes the damage is evenly split.

Have faith that your smart heals will heal people instead of bloodworms.

Have faith that your Shadowfiend will keep attacking the boss, and not hit it once and retreat to your side like a lost puppy.

Have faith in your loot dice.

Let those filthy Alliance priests put their faith in vague concepts – like Xenu, or whatever it is the squid-faces worship. Keep your feet and faith firmly ground, I always say – well, except when you fall off a cliff, but that’s why we invented Levitate.

Now get out there and heal.
Erui.
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Re: Aunt Erui’s Advice for Fledgling Priestlings.

Postby Erui » Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:24 pm

Dear Aunt Erui,

I was looking over some recent gear drops, and I noticed that the set bonus on the new tier is even worse than the previous tier! How is that even possible?

Signed,
Downgraded Holy Priest

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Dear Downgraded,

This is a good question, which raises even more questions. Questions such as, "How low can they go? When will we hit bottom? Why do they hate Holy Priests? Did a Holy Priest touch one of them when they were young... er, hang on, I think we may be onto something here."

If you think the gear bonuses are bad, wait until you get your hands on our insulting class trinket.

You should always weigh the benefit of the tier set bonuses versus, say, running naked through rabid murloc country. If the two sound equally appealing then it is possible that the set bonus is not for you.

I am of the opinion that the set bonuses are a trap for the weak, to lure them out of wearing the superior mishmash of gear that drops off trash mobs. If you read the bonuses on our gear and trinkets, it almost sounds like it is meant to mislead. Your healing spells take twice as long to cast but their mana cost is divided by .5 and they hit a bonus 2 fewer targets!

My advice is to wear the sweaty, patched gear you are used to and stash the set pieces in your bags. There is an outside chance that the hard, black little ball of turpitude that passes for a heart at Blizzard may grow three sizes some day and, unlike the Grinch, they will keel over dead from a grossly enlarged heart. Maybe then some more sympathetic class designers will take over for the Holy Priests.

Until then, get out there and heal, n00b.

Erui
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